True to my Libra nature, I am very sensitive to the forces in my life..I like to keep myself in balance because when I am not I feel it both physically and mentally.. I don't sleep well, I eat food that makes me feel horrible, my emotions vascilate between extremes.. I miss that rythm of life which for me feels comfortable..
I have been battling the negative forces, thoughts and emotions that were weighing me down since last year.. Stress is the main culprit and an old friend.. As always, I tried to ignore it but this year the generalized anxiety in the air was more than even I could ignore..It was a thick blanket which somehow didn't keep me warm.. As much as I could feel the difference in myself, I wasn't able to avoid it. So for a few weeks, I felt like an Eeoyre. Everything was too much.. I just didn't want to do anything more than the minimum..
As I looked as my life, I knew that it was not anything specific to me.. Sure there are things to worry about and I can do that with the best of them but it was more about this build up of saddness in the lives of people whom I care about.. The helplessness was frustrating..
The scales tipped too far and I finally decided that I wouldn't continue to feed that negativity any longer.. It took a few days of mental battle with myself but I believe in the power of choice. I can choose to stay in that funk or I can get back on track.. I can put that same energy into a better and more positive attitude... My attitude wasn't horrible but I knew I wasn't at my best, I wasn't enjoying my blessings..
SO for those of you, especially my hubby and my pumpkin, who had to put up with me..thanks for bearing with me while I marinated in those feelings.. Now I can come out like the sun after a rainy day.. My internal spring cleaning has begun..
I am ready to embrace life's ups and downs for each has their place..