Joy and Pain...

I have really been dreading this post.. I have avoided it mostly because I didn't really know how and where to start without bringing too much gloom to this blog. However, because my goal in starting this blog was to write about our life, I knew that no matter how much I avoided it the time would come to unload just a little.. Fortunately, our life is mostly happy.. We are so blessed in so many ways that at times it made me worry about what bad things lurked in the future.. For those of you who know me, you know I worry.. So even while I laughed at my silly daughter or enjoyed a simple cup of coffee I would always wonder if there was something bad going to happen.. How long could the good times last?

The past couple of months have been a challenge on all fronts.. I won't bore you with work because at the end of the day, its just that- Work.. We are employed and that is more than many can say in this economy.. I countinue to be grateful for gainful employment.

The real challenges have been dealing with a life that included two funerals, two weddings and a birth to name a few events..

We did not get the chance to get home from our Disney Cruise before a call Sunday morning shocked me into the present.. My mom called to tell me that very suddenly my aunt, my "Mom Josefina" had passed mid week.. To this day I swear she visited me on Wed night hundreds of miles away from her sick bed.. I had no premonition leaving that anything would happen to her but for some reason I tossed and turned every night.. I didnt feel relaxed.. Wednesday night I really thought the cruise was not going to be for me.. Somehow by Thursday I was calmer.. I found out later she passed that night.. The shock of having to drive from the port directly to her viewing was surreal.. I don't even remember changing my clothes or who was at the viewing.. I just know that when I finally made my way to her coffin it was not my mom Josefina lying there.. I will instead remember her in her yellow robe or telling stories about me as a little girl.. After that we had a wedding for Jessica which was bittersweet and yet helped lift the spirits of the family enough to mourn as a family..

Little did we know we would need that strength for the next month.. My uncle Lencho whom I knew was withering away before our eyes was the next one to leave us.. After a few weeks of grieving for his sister, he too succumbed to the illness, pain and cancer. The looks in the eyes of the doctors and the shock of seeing how frail my uncle was as we tried to get him admitted to the hospital was almost too much to bear. While my mom and I tried to ask questions and remain focused, the rest of the family was gathering and already reliving the pain of the recent loss and bracing for the loss that seemed so near.. My cousins who loved their father with so much care were united until the very last breath. I was just in time to say my good byes and this time and I was somewhat prepared. But prepared or not the pain ripped me apart at the sight of his grown sons and grandchildren crying after his last breaths were taken.. I was instantly in those dark places where you just can't believe that you can hurt so much and still live..

All this time family that we don't see regularly was camped at my moms. My phonebook started to fill up with numbers for all my cousins and we all bonded tighter in our pain.. In so many ways that pain brought us some joy.. We shared stories and memories.. Some days it was hard to smile but little by little the good times crept back in..

After pain of March and April the month of May started with another wedding.. Luis and Hallie had a lovely and intimate ceremony to celebrate their new life together..We smiled a little brighter.. We welcomed another member to the family..

As a favorite song of mine says you can't know happiness until you have known pain.. The past two months have brought doses of both and to have lived and loved through them means I am still here.. I am still standing..

God is good,

Alex

Ouch!

Last week Maya gave practice her all.. Unfortunately, it meant she took some bumps and met the grass too often.. Most plays she bounced back.. a few she wimpered but was able to keep going.. Thursday towards the end of practice Martin and Steve set up Alexandra against Maya...

It happened in a split second.. Next thing I know I hear the cry.. the one that rattles your bones and tugs at your heart.. After 3 years of playing soccer I have tried to grow some tough skin.. We always remind Missy to shake it off.. But in that split second the little voice crying in my ear was in pain.. I tried to sooth.. I looked for wounds.. Nothing was obvious.. My mom issue xray vision was malfunctioning..

We headed home and still she insisted there was pain.. I borrowed a bandage, gave her some ibuprofen and reassured her that it would be fine in the morning.. I sent her to school sure that she just wanted the chance to show of a bandage to her classmates..

By midday her teacher sent me a note that in fact the pain was still bothering Maya... Oh No...bad mom award for me... time to call the pediatrician.. He insisted he check her before the weekend. Here we go to the doctors office..Two fast xrays would later reveal what Missy's pain was all about... A broken wrist... Ouch!

I could write an entire entry on Martins craziness.. He was so worried she would miss the season. He put so much time and effort into the girls how could his kid not play? He wanted to know everything.. how broken? how long would she need a cast.?. could she play with a cast?..

I won't bore you or enrage you with the nightmare/adventure it was to locate an pediatric orthopeadic doctor in Riverside county.. Needless to say we finally found an awesome one at Scripps in San Diego.. (Have you seen the price of gas..? over 100 mile round trip).. But what's a mom to do.. afterall I have a broken girl and a crazy soccer coaching husband..

The soccer gods were smiling (laughing) on Martin..But this smile was worth it...

Maya and her newest accessory.. color coordinated to match her uniform..

She insists she will be ready to play as soon as it is cut off...

Wish me luck that I can survive the season..

Alex

Wedding Bells

Last Saturday we got to hear some wedding bells.. In the middle of our mourning period we had to celebrate with Jessica and Richard.. While my Mom Josefina wasn't there to celebrate with us in person, we all felt her presence...Jessica's wedding was a wonderful way to unite our family in positive way after all the crying and sadness of the week before..

Luis walks Jessica down the aisle...

While the mother of the bride, Violet, looked so proud and excited for her oldest.....

The Wedding was sweet..Those smiles were painted on.. They look so excited to be married..

The Gonzalez family was in their best and having a good time..

The Izguerra's were a fun bunch...

We all put our best foot forward to celebrate a special day for a special couple..
Wishing Jessica and Richard a lifetime of married happiness.
Big Hugs,
Alex

Ahoy Mickey!

In case you wondered where we were... We took a cruise.. a Disney Cruise...It was our first real family vacation.. Our first cruise ever.. I apparently don't have sea legs as I had to hold on to my chair and take Stay Calm several times.. Martin and Maya are apparently half fish..

Here are Martin and Maya inspecting our room.. We had a balcony and plenty of room to spread out..

It was a great experience and a real treat for Maya. She loved every minute of being in the pool, eating dinner with our wait staff who catered to her every need or whim and sleeping in.. The TV is playing Disney movies around the clock... we saw classics like 101 Dalmations and Alice in Wonderland as we dressed for dinner or after the shows.. The boat is a floating city.. Ours had several pools, running deck, gym, movie theater, show theater, 3 restaurants/buffets and of course all the Disney Characters..

The characters make their rounds on a regular bases.. Maya got to meet the princesses and Mickey after Dad so generously stood in line for about an hour....

We had so much fun we can't wait to set sail again...
Ahoy!
Alex

Made with Love...

In honor of Valentines I thought I would share about all of the things that I enjoy doing which to me require love... For me, no project meal or gift means much if it is not given, made or thought of with a loving intention.. Its' one of the reasons I dont like gift cards.. I want the gift to speak to me of the person and often I won't stop searching until something calls me.. In the case of food.. I think of the person and what they like..

In my hubbies case it means HOT and Spicy food.. So this week it was not one but two hot salsas.. which could then be on hand for tonights pork chop dinner..

For Missy, its a little headband or hair clip to accessorize for Valentines..

Even Maya has learned that homemade goodies trump store bought candies.. For her Valentines exchange she wanted Caramel and chocolate covered pretzels.

Mind you she was clear on the color scheme and insisted that pink was only for girls and that we had to get red for the boys....Maya loves to decorate with melted chocolate.. For her teacher it was Caramel Apples.. what else?

Just like food, fabric can be addictive.. Quilting, my form of therapy, is another outlet for my energy and love.. This month my challenge was 2 quilts.. One for Sophia's 5th birthday and another for the baby on the way... Well after much searching and hair pulling. I found fabric lines that fit.. For Baby boy it was Max and Whiskers because what boy doesn't love cats, dogs, fish and turtles?. I hope this quilt will grow with him...
For Sophia it was a perfect match with Freebird by Momo.. The palate is girly without being sickenly sweet. The line spoke to me when we were in Washington as a girls line..It has some strong reds and some bright pops of orange.. Not to mention some fabulous butterflies and polka dots..

Now and always its about LOVE!
Alex

Cards, Cupcakes and Community Service..

This month the troop decided to earn a "community service" patch... We baked some home made goodies and had the girls decorate some valentines.. Next thing you know they are at the local retirement home meeting new friends and handing out sugar-laden goodies and colorful valentines...

Community service is on the top of my list for reasons to be a girl scout.. Don't get me wrong, I love the cookies and some of the other activities but community service and learning to be of service is more important to me than having more friends.. So I was very supportive of this outing.. At the end of the day it was our first attempt at service and it was a success.. I hope we can become regulars there and that the girls can build relationships with the seniors they met..

Here's Maya sharing her cupcakes..

Making friends..

I don't think the girls were prepared for the seniors but once they shook a few hands and saw those welcoming smiles they were at home... It was a great learning opportunity for the girls and an opportunity to talk about aging...

Good Job Troop 462!
Alex

Mom, MY TOOTH!

Monday morning as she ate breakfast Missy decided to take matters into her own hands.. literally.. I guess she was tired of figeting with that second wiggly tooth.. Without warning I heard.. "Mom, My tooth!" and then there was blood and oh no here we go..

We run to the bathroom so she can rinse her mouth and of course she is going crazy because she sees bright red blood..

After all the madness she tells me that Grace had given her the great idea to pull it out on her own.. I couldn't help but giggle.. She started giggling and now I am cracking up because she has a gummy smile now.

One tooth a week.. she is on a roll..
Alex